What Real Love Looks Like

Here are the bullets I shared from Paul Tripp's excellent book, What Did You Expect?  This is one of the most helpful books I've ever read on the subject of marriage. 

In Chapter 12 - Ready, Willing and Waiting, Tripp shares a vivid description of what "marital love in action" looks like. I've adapted his list and believe these characteristics will enrich any relationship.  

“Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.” — Paul Tripp, What Did You Expect?, page 188. 

What Real Love Looks Like:

·     Love is being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of another person without impatience or anger…

·     Love is actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental, but instead looking for ways to encourage and praise…

·     Love is the daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses…

·     Love is being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding, and being more committed to unity and love than you are to winning, accusing or being right…

·     Love is a daily commitment to admit your sin, weaknesses and failures and resisting the temptation to offer up excuses, shift the blame or rationalize your sin or mistakes…

·     Love is being unwilling to do what’s wrong when you’ve been wronged, but looking for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good…

·     Love is being willing to ask for forgiveness when you’ve blown it with a friend and always being committed to granting forgiveness when forgiveness is requested…

·     Love is a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding and active love…

·     Love is treating people with appreciation, respect and grace, even in those moments when they don’t seem to deserve it or are unwilling to reciprocate it…

·     Love is being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm a relationship, hurt or wound a friend, and weaken a bond of trust…

·     Love is refusing to be self-focused and demanding, but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support, and encourage another individual… 

              

·     Love is admitting to yourself, to others, and to God that you can’t love like this without God’s grace rescuing you, His love transforming you, and His Spirit empowering you…

From What Did YouExpect? by Paul Tripp