PRINCIPLE FOUR: Never Lose Focus On What’s Ahead.
One of my Dad’s favorite verses was Romans 8:18. I read this passage to him a few times during the last week of his life.
“For I reckon that the sufferings of the present aren’t worth comparing to the glory that shall be revealed.”
Dad loved this verse. He especially loved this translation because of ONE WORD in the verse: “For I reckon...” Dad loved the word "reckon." He thought it sounded like a great Southern word.
I've heard him preach or exhort from this verse several times. I can almost hear him quoting it: “For I reckon that the sufferings of the present aren’t worth comparing to the glory that shall be revealed.”
I believe this is what Dad was banking on during the last few months of his life. He was banking on God's promise that despite what lay ahead, it couldn't compare to what God had in store.
I arrived in Tennessee on Saturday, August 23 after our first "work day" at the future worship site of a2 Church. Dad was sitting in his recliner, surrounded by family and friends, but it was obvious he was struggling.
Later that evening I helped him to bed. That would be the last time he would move about the house. I had arrived in Tennessee with the intention of driving back to Birmingham Sunday afternoon to worship with a2. After spending a few hours with Dad, I knew that it was important for me to stay. Over the next four days Dad's condition would deteriorate.
Wednesday evening was one of those evenings you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy…
The Hospice Nurse arrived just before mid-week service and indicated that they would begin giving Dad “morphine” to ease his pain…
Somehow I knew this would be the final opportunity I would have to speak with my Dad. I walked over to his bedside, looked into his eyes one more time just to tell him that I loved him and that it was alright if he wanted to go on home…
That evening family lingered at Dad and Mom's house well into the evening. I believe everyone could sense that we might be nearing what some would consider to be "the end."
Sometime after midnight Dad had a seizure. He had another one some time around 4 AM. After the second seizure, His breathing seemed to be very labored. But he also seemed to be at peace…
After being up all night, Crystal Conely, one of Dad’s church members and a close family friend, prepared breakfast… While Mom grabbed a quick cup of coffee, I sat near Dad’s bed reading Scripture, praying, listening to him breath…
Crystal walked in to to give me just a few moments to grab a bite to eat… After downing a bacon and egg sandwich, when I walked back into Dad’s room, I knew it wouldn't be long…
Dad's breathing had changed… It wasn’t as labored… Each breath seemed to be shorter… He was still at peace…
Crystal looked at me and said, “I’ve just been singing to him…”
As she left to get a bite to eat, I sat down and decided that was a good course of action… I began to sing… My singing soon became mixed with tears...
A couple of hymns came immediately to mind. So I began to sing...
Great is Thy faithfulness
O God my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee...
When peace like a river, attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, It is well with my soul...
As I continued to sing, the lyrics of a song I originally heard back in the early nineties flooded my mind. The song was written by one of my favorite song writers, Mark Heard.
The lyrics of this song have always moved me because of their longing for redemption, for God to set everything right...
As tears streamed down my face, I sang these words over my dad...
I see you now and then in dreams
Your voice sounds like it used to
I know you better than I knew you then
All I can say is, “I love you.”
I thought our days were commonplace
Thought they’d number in the millions
Now there’s only the aftertaste
Of circumstance that can’t pass this way again.
Treasure of the broken land
Parched earth, give up your captive ones
Waiting winds of Gabriel
Blow soon upon these hollow bones…
Before finishing the words of the chorus, Dad had went home.
Here are the rest of Mark's lyrics:
I saw the city at its tortured worst
And you were outside the walls there
You were relieved of a lifelong thirst
I was dry at the fountain
I knew that you could see my shame
But you were eyeless and sparing
I awoke when you called my name
I felt the curtain tearing
Treasure of the broken land
Parched earth, give up your captive ones
Waiting winds of Gabriel
Blow soon upon these hollow bones…
I can melt the clock hands down
But only in my memory
Nobody gets the second chance
To be the friend that they meant to be
I see you now and then in dreams
Your voice sounds just like it used to
I believe I will hear it again
God how I love you.
- Treasures of the Broken Land, Mark Heard
The last week has been one of the most difficult in memory.
I felt Dad's absence keenly on Monday night as the Tennessee Volunteers played their first game of the season. Dad loved college football, and every time UT took the field was an opportunity for us to talk on the phone and discuss the game... Calls would go back and forth throughout the course of the game... I thought about this ritual Monday evening and missed being able to pick up the phone and call him...
I also thought about the last time we "did this dance." While Dad wasn't a huge pro-football fan, during the last Super Bowl we called each other several times... Both of us wanted to see the Pats go down and the Giants win...
This week I thought about how much I miss him... How much I miss his wisdom... His laugh... His sarcasm... His simplicity... His humility... His voice...
This week I thought about how much I long for heaven...
I love Paul's words in 2 Timothy 4:6 to his "son in the faith," Timothy.
2 Timothy 4:6-8 (MSG), You take over. I’m about to die, my life an offering on God’s altar. This is the only race worth running. I’ve run hard right to the finish, believed all the way. All that’s left now is the shouting—God’s applause! Depend on it, he’s an honest judge. He’ll do right not only by me, but by everyone eager for his coming.
Dad believed in this. He longed for it. He lived for it.
My goal? To finish strong and to never lose focus on what's ahead. One day the "parched earth will give up it's captive ones" and the "waiting winds of Gabriel will blow upon these hollow bones." Until then, I must believe "for to me to live is Christ..."
I thank God for the legacy He gave me in the life of my Dad. I look forward to our reunion.
"Therefore encourage each other with these words." 1 Thessalonians 4:18
2 comments:
otChris,
I have enjoyed so much all 4 parts, but especially the 4th one. I can relate to what you are feeling. I never quite understood what people meant when they said they were homesick for heaven, however since my mother and father's home-going I understand. As I read part 4 that homesick kind of longing was so strong. I pray I will fight the good fight of faith and when He calls me home or the trumpet sounds He will say to me, Well, done good and faithful servant...Thank you for sharing so beautifully, Chris. My prayer is that God will continue to bless you and Janet as you work for Him.
Dotty Herd
Each one I read is better than the one before. Reading your blog has started being part of my devotion. Your words inspire me. I know this has been a great outlet to help you heal from Kenneths passing. I still miss him and can't even imagine how much you miss him, but I can read it in every word. Your father was a great man to many. Chris, It looks like you are following in his footsteps.
Rhonda (Hickman) Stracner
Post a Comment