You never know when your entire world is going to be turned completely upside down… You never know when the bottom is going to drop out of life leaving you falling and spinning and grasping for something solid to hold on to. But every now and then it happens… Usually, when you least expect it…
Just a few days ago the “bottom” dropped out of our family’s world. On Thursday my dad collapsed in his home. My youngest brother found him lying still on the bathroom floor completely unresponsive. At first there was panic… “Call 911,” Casey shouted to my mom. Then he gathered our Dad in his arms and waited for the ambulance to arrive.
By the time the ambulance arrived, stabilized my dad and transported him to a small hospital in Athens, Tennessee; most of the Goins’ family had been notified.
When I speak of the Goins’ family, you probably need to be aware that my Dad comes from a family of twelve brothers and sisters. That’s right! TWELVE! My Grandmother was the original “Super Woman.”
Eleven of those brothers and sisters are still alive! When you include spouses, kids, their spouses, grandkids, their spouses, more kids and great grand kids… Well, you get the picture… It’s a HUGE family, and represents one of those “old fashioned families” where “family” still means something… Let me explain…
By the time my Dad arrived at the small hospital in Athens, Tennessee, my Uncle Malcolm was there; standing alongside my mom, waiting for a report from the doctor. Additional brothers and sisters would funnel in… When they received the call, they dropped everything and came running… A member of their “family” was in trouble, and they were there to stand with him… To do anything and everything possible…
Eventually Dad was transported to a hospital in Chattanooga. By early Thursday evening, the M.I.C.U. waiting room was filled with brothers, sisters, their spouses, their offspring, church members – all standing vigil for one of their own whose outcome was uncertain.
Thursday evening my Uncle Malcolm and Aunt Connie spent the night in the waiting room with mom – just in case any news should break during the late hours of the evening or wee hours of the morning.
All day Friday the waiting room was filled with activity, as extended members of the family and members of dad’s church filed in and out checking on Dad’s status, offering support, providing encouragement, bringing food, telling stories, laughing, praying and providing hope…
Early Friday evening Aunt Shirley arrived with “Tupperware” containers filled with homemade vegetable soup, pinto beans, cornbread and all the fixin’s. She invaded a vending room. Set up shop and made certain that every member of the family had something to eat. (In retrospect, while the pinto beans tasted incredible, they were probably not best vegetable she could have brought. Thankfully, the waiting room had an exhaust fan…)
Friday evening Uncle Malcolm and Aunt Connie bedded down again to spend the night with mom, along with two members of the church my mom and dad serve… Just their presence indicated to my mom, “You are not in this alone… We are standing with you… We’re going to get through this together…”
Saturday morning we got the definitive word from three doctors. Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor near the surface of his brain... An operation was scheduled for Tuesday…
All day long on Saturday I sat and watched as brothers, sisters, nephews and friends passed in and out of the M.I.C.U. waiting room and I was overwhelmed… I was overwhelmed with the love and loyalty I had seen play out before my eyes…
My brothers and I have stood alongside mom throughout the whole deal, but the “real players” – the example of how people ought to live and love – has been demonstrated in the lives of my aunts and uncles. It was love dressed up in work clothes, even “overalls.”
Somehow, my Dad’s brothers and sisters haven’t forgotten what “family” really means… Somehow they understand what Solomon meant when he said, “…a brother is born for adversity…” (Proverbs 17:17) If this was the only time I had seen them display this kind of love and loyalty, that would be one thing. But this is just the way this family chooses to do life…
So, during the last few days I’ve been praying for my Dad’s healing. He’s showing some improvement. We’ve still got a ways to go… But I’ve also been praying that God would help me to live out and model the values, love, life and loyalty I’ve seen lived out over the past few days…
I want to be the kind of husband, father, brother or friend who is THERE when the bottom falls out. I want to be the kind of friend who doesn’t just say, “If there is anything we can do, don’t hesitate to give us call,” secretly hoping that they never call… I want to be the kind of friend who just DOES what needs to be done, what SHOULD be done, without being called, and without being asked.
I want to be the kind of guy who stands in the gap, who holds up someone’s hands, who believes when no one else believes, who hopes when hope is apparently gone, and who loves beyond all reason.
That’s the kind of love and lives I’ve got to witness this week.
God help me be that kind of man, that kind of husband, that kind of father, that kind of brother, that kind of friend.
John 15:13 (NIV), Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
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