TOUGH WEEK...

There's no other way to put it... This week has been a really, really tough week... Take that back, it's been a tough ten days...

Relationally I feel shot...
Spiritually I feel drained...
Emotionally I'm pretty wasted...
Physically, I'm just plain tired...

Those words aren't intended to invoke your pity. Just an attempt to be honest and vulnerable.

Ever had a week like that?

It all started with the acute awareness that I had to make a "tough call" regarding a person that I truly love... Not because they were bad or immoral, but because "intuitively" I knew it was the right call to make.

This is never easy for a "senior leader." Especially a leader who genuinely loves people... But after a couple of decades in the leadership arena I've learned that to ignore the "intuitive" side of leadership usually ends up costing you "big time" in the end...

The week continued with setbacks and challenges related to the "build out" at the future worship site of a2... While we've experienced God's grace and divine intervention in some amazing ways as it relates to the build out, it seems that every week brings with it a new set of challenges and setbacks... At this point, "parking" is the big hurdle we're attempting to jump... How big of a hurdle? Really big. "Deal breaker" big. Please pray for God's leadership and guidance. Throughout this entire process our entire objective has been that God's will be accomplished.

On the heels of this deadly combination, blew in a whirlwind of additional challenges... There are too many to list... Physical challenges. Financial challenges. You get the picture...

But add to all of this the pain of watching your Dad's health quickly deteriorate right before your eyes, well; it's been a tough ten days...

At this point, I'm in Watts Bar, Tennessee at the home of my Dad and Mom. Dad is now under Hospice care. According to Hospice, without God's intervention he only has a matter of days...

I'm sitting next to him now. His breathing is labored. His body is so week. His eyes are closed.

Occasionally, he will have a moment of awareness... Yesterday morning he looked me right in the eyes and with a sense of clarity asked, "What are you thinking about?"

I told him... "I'm thinking about how much I love you... About what a great Dad you are... About what an incredible man you are... About all of the life lessons you've not only taught, but demonstrated by the way you live your life... That's what I'm thinking about..."

He looked at me and simply said, "Yeah..." Then he closed his eyes and drifted back into this ongoing sleep...

I arrived in TN on Saturday with the intention of speaking for my Dad's church on Sunday and heading back to BHM for the second service of a2 Church. Upon arriving at Dad and Mom's house, it was apparent that I needed to stay...

As I indicated, Hospice has been called in. They provide some assistance But the strongest person inside the four walls of this house is the 5'4" brown haired woman that has stood by Dad's side for more than 44 years... Her name? Mom. Connie Sharon Fuller Goins.

Right now, my Dad is so weak... But in his weakness, she is amazingly strong... She nurtures, clothes and changes this once strong man. She does it with the tender care that a mother would lavish on a newborn, only she is caring for her husband.

I think, "This is love. This is loyalty. This is faithfulness. This is the stuff the movies never show."

I ask God, "Why? How long?"

So far there haven't been any answers, but there is a sense that God is here. That God is present. That God sees what's going and has a purpose even in the middle of this kind of pain...

I hope for a miracle and pray for Dad's recovery... Mostly, I long for his healing... In whatever form God chooses to accomplish it...

I long for things to be "set right." Deep down I know this isn't the way things are supposed to be... I think I understand a little more about what Paul meant when he wrote, "creation groans for its redemption." I am "groaning." I long for God to set this whole thing right.

Somehow Paul's description of death as an "enemy" makes more sense than ever...

1 Corinthians 15:25-26 (NIV), For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. 26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

My heart cries out for this. For "the last enemy to be destroyed." For things to be "set right."

Yes, this has been a tough ten days... But somehow I know that pain, loss, challenges, setbacks, relational strains, sickness and even death will not have the final say in this struggle... I know that for the forty-three years of my life, my Dad has placed his trust in Jesus Christ; and that regardless of what transpires over the next ten days, two weeks, two months or two years, ultimately my risen Savior will write the final words in this story.

So, what do you do when life throws ten days, two weeks, two months or two years of hardship and pain at you?

Me? What do I do?

I'm leaning on the support of friends and family.

I'm re-focusing on the redemption that Christ has promised.

I'm believing that because Christ has risen that whatever occurs with my Dad doesn't have to be the end of the story.

I'm leaning on grace and trusting that God's grace really is sufficient...

How about you?